.:tba.: writing

Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

to porkchop frenchi

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Your lack of words might though, as your eyes avert me. I quietly pray, to my dismay, for your words to reach me. I get you in parts, filtered in from the dark, where your bones lie staunch and dirty. If it's dirt dug up, I'll know by the tone, but the profiler knows to show me, the good in you that I don't get as you continuously ignore me. By the time we meet, it's all said and done, there's nothing that will smite me. Unless it's you of course, holding a stick, swinging it right at me. My bones may break then, but my heart won't, and you'll be very sorry. (second stanza i just made up now with no editing so pardon my rhyming) For true love is my goal and with that nothing violent will ever reach me. Abuse is done, I know it well, and I see past it rightly. You're deaf, you're dumb, and you might have a problem with that son. Ghostings for teens who don't know what feelings are, because they never had any. Last I checked you're an adult now so why are you so mean to me? It must be someone talking shit to you totally all about me. Listen carefully because its profiled to you, Im sold in parts, and you don't know me. So the profiler might tell you about me too, but you won't recognize me. A union is a friendship did and comes right back in at me. You deny it now but come down the line time will be unkind to your doubting. For all you know you might as well already mightily love me. But I get that you won't know until you come very close to me. That words are fun, a way to squirm, fly, and haunt other people to learning you. The curve is real and the arc remains true: I did love you, but it might have been in ancient times totally way back when. That times long gone but my heart knows I did and thats the bend the arc makes as i try to astral travel to see you. This poem is just but a way for me to tell you that I dont bite: Bark I do and its to say that awoooooooooooooooooo i do love you. Love me back: the pitiful cry of Joan of Arc will not die. Her tale is true the arc is clean and no martyr are we. Lets have some fun and party. Avoid adulting and act foolishly. Night time comes soon enough, don't be caught without me. I dont know where you go so take me next time you show Up to see your friends in the city. Because i live in an industrial town theres no one here thatll take me. So come show me what you like dont hesitate dont doubt me. But if you choose go and leave me alone I wont cry for you. Ill just know that next life though, itll be you coming after me. For true love is spent when you stay dead to someone happy to see you. Quelch this you try but smoldering ashes fly out tue phoenix my countries bird, blazing hot and splendid. Ready to do that thing again and wont it ever hurt me. I guess not because truth is rare and precious is the only thing that deserts me. No fault of mine its usually stolen from me By a traitor who was given access to my belongings where he showed me, a traitor true cold blooded hue of hatred and violence at me. But sticks and stones can break my bones and words will never hurt me. It includes the words you leave out because those words are well within you. So keep not saying what is true as I try to relieve my sadness at losing you this lifetime. So long ago did we meet maybe we were one person split in two changed genders too and now we have forgotten. But i say thats not true amd words words words is all ill ever do to you.

Tuesday, May 06, 2025

community

sometimes we have plenty, sometimes we have none, but most specially we like to have fun. be it night time or day, come what may, see us smile in the sun, bring our friends bag, dont forget it, run. ill bring the razor blades, you bring the foil, a barbeque is what we'll say were having- smoke fuming out: come! whats her number does she have one what about him? i know him. when did she go? did he die-we were friends- now i only have some. the community mourns as one. lets party we all say but we know its just for fun for all seriousness we died already chasing our friends one by one. dont mock or hurt is weve already been done. dont scorn or chastise us, we know. were not blind, deaf, or mute, we're broken, cold and alone ready to say hey hows it going cheer up we're still here, friends, and some. to those that passed before us we miss you and dont worry we still have it, what you left us, the memory of friendship come.

Thursday, March 13, 2025

ode to fifteen crystal roses

spiral teardrop from my eye, overcome aquarium; the darkness in that valley thyne. crystal glasses, roses, drugs and time.

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

on listening and speaking

when i was younger i used to speak in a murmur, a garbled mumble i would use words i made up or pretended to sound smarter these days lifes taught me all too clear that i need to understand each word, each syllable, each punctuation, in order not to fear

for the man on the bus, a poem.

financial institutions think im crazy crazy institutions think im fine my family must think im really lazy but dont tell me that you arent mine the man on the bus that day smelled so good he smelled of wood and soft water no shaving cream scent at all but his face was shaven earlier and the stubble was starting to show those are the details i did not miss but i sorely miss saying hello when i dont know what to do i become talkative but that day my crazy did shine through for i stared at him so intently instead he took note and fled on foot i wasnt hurt i wasnt sad i was still in shock because i had never seen such a wonderful looking man despite not speaking to him no talk at all if i ever come across him again i will stand my ground might be water or i may not have the strength but i believe one look from him ill be steadfast no fear and it will feel all too real so instead of hope i plot to be more sincere more outside and more on the bus we rode that october last last year. its been so long i wonder.

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Good ONE

SOME QUIPS I WROTE ON X IM REWRITING THEM HERE COS THEY MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD I FORGOT SO MANY ALL BUT HERE IS A COUPLE BUM BUM GO BOOM BOOM - SAY TO PARTNER AFTER FARTING WITH STRAIGHT FACE UNTIL THEY TELL YOU TO STOP WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "DONT GET IT TWISTED" - SAY WHO SAYS THAT (BELTS PROBABLY)

Monday, June 10, 2024

lost causes and the blues

got me down lookin’ at my shoes

wondering where all those people went

the ones i wanted to spend time with

im not sure how it went

time passed slow or no one said go

either way i said don't choose

maybe thats where the problem lay

no choice made it go too slow

both don't show what then no go

you lose the chance to spend time in different hues

Thursday, September 29, 2022

bring me a hill soft with trees

last night I had a dream about being on the go train. It was a long dream, continuing from my old dreams of travelling the countryside. The different thing about this dream was that I wasn’t me, I was a young boy and I was travelling with an aunt. As usual she was monitoring me on the phone and I was trying to escape her by going up and down on the go train to different cars. I finally escaped her and exited into a small town. There were no houses and it was just hills and trees and grass. At the base of the hill was a biker bar with a signage that said the word auger and it was coloured orange, which felt familiar to me. There was no one outside and it was a bright sunny day so I walked past the bar and started climbing the hill. To my surprise there was a school at the top of the hill and it looked empty and not in session so I entered the gates and saw an assembly of girls in the courtyard. An all girls school it was as I went through the corridors I saw their displays and one part had these billowing various peach coloured swaths of sheer fabric tied to black wrought iron gates. Eventually I was a bit lost in the school and a series of girls showed me the way out silently. I exited through the back parking lot and took some photos of the cars there because there were some old and unusual looking cars. Beyond the parking lot I saw there was a small town below. As I headed towards the town, I woke up.

Thursday, March 31, 2022

mizzirizzi

A silly rhyme in time

becomes commited to mind

A bind you may find difficult to mine

To define the fix nix the line that decimates the clock

Loosen the knot call kettle pot

Brown is black in new T - dot

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Thursday, May 07, 2020

so now im back and i ate some kind of food i made from things i found in the valley of death that the most recent caveman dragged me into.
it was ... ok. i hope.
the caveman is obsessively pounding away at a rock hoping to break it open and use the inside part as a shield from the female horse that attacks him while he gathers berries for his tea.
he thinks the inside part of a rock is soft like an egg but can be molded like wet sand that will dry into a new rock. i want to rest but he is singing the songs from the last time he had exchanges and they are boring songs about street gangs and sucking things and in funny high pitched voices that makes them sound like they sucked up some helium before they recorded the song. my head is weary and tired of waiting for the caveman to leave for a few days expedition so that i can leave without leaving anything else behind but i doubt he will leave for longer than an hour at a time. tonight i thought of making the potion i learned from reading the cave walls by the flowers and plant enclave but caveman with his insistent display of rock pounding and terrible song listening makes it difficult to concentrate. i left some food for caveman so he stops his rock pounding but i dont like to waste food like he does. he makes a show of wasting because he wants me to know he is wasting me.
later on the food is cold and uneaten and caveman offers me some a veal steak he wants to prepare, but since i say no, he eats a pie he bought from the grocery instead.

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

"with the fuckin' e-phone"

“with the fuckin’ e-phone”

HEY MAN, YOU’RE ABOUT TO WALK RIGHT INTO ME!

WITH THE FUCKIN' E-PHONE
AND THE WALKING WITHOUT LOOKING
AND THE ROAD RAGE YOU’RE WATCHING
WHAT ABOUT ME EH, HOMELESS GIRL
BIKING HERE ON THE SIDEWALK BECAUSE I FOUND THIS OLD BIKE
BEHIND THE COMMUNITY CENTER I GO TO BY THE MEAL PROGRAM
WITH THE BACK PEDAL THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
WHAT ABOUT ME EY?

ASSHOLE!

YOU BETTER GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY FOR CALLING ME AN ASSHOLE, YOU DIP SHIT!

.:

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

Why I was so affected by the passing of Karl Lagerfeld

I wrote a piece.
Short one.
Based on the interviews and articles I scoured the internet for.
Wow I love this mans life. His brain. Also I thought he was sexiest at ages 40-50 and again at ages 70-83 (because by 85 he gained weight again, but, I would still love him) Can you believe it. Have you seen a hottie woman at age 75? Let me see the picture.

Anyway this is what I wrote. I want to update this post with all the great articles, interviews and videos I found.

.:
quality was lost
there is no ugly vintage.
“bad taste came after, with the industrial era”
luxurious products are exclusive by price due to the quality of craftsmanship and paramount design.
when the quality fell, the talentless flourished, bad taste became the norm.
the beauty of well and long crafted pieces and objects vanished with
the new rise of modernism, fast food, minimalism, the attention civilization lost on object creation by an individual has caused a rift in the collective psyches concept of worth in a way that disconnects the self from environment. the cause and effect concept has become diluted and washed thin which diminishes the value of time spent reflecting the origins of our world while creating a simple meal from scratch, hemming a piece of cloth, to building an entire city.
the standard of quality has always been defined by luxury, but when money becomes disconnected from its origin luxury becomes distasteful and stale.
.:

There are no pictures of Karl Lagerfeld undressed. Not a single one! I cannot find a inch of his skin apart from his face, neck, and hands. Amazing!


"If fashion is your trade then when you're naked you must be unemployed"

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Disassociative Amnesia

learned a new term today, still reading about it, and then i remember all the parts i forgot. well i dont actually. but now i have a term for not remembering long periods of time, or how i come to the new month or year without forming a long term memory of the month or year prior. im a goldfish. damn.

happy valentines day btw
for my own gift to myself im cleaning the house so i can have a nice time rolling on the dust mite free floor. was just reading a study on atopic dermatitis and it spoke of dust mites from dogs. gross. and i thought of that night i went to use the washroom and didnt wear my slippers and when i got back into bed i thought i felt my feet itchy and got so grossed out i sprayed them with alcohol then they didnt itch anymore and i realized ive only mopped the floor twice and not one of those times was with borax nor bleach blech. so im wiping surfaces today, reducing the dust that harbors mites and bacteria, cleaning the air at source. or something. im taking my lunch break and there are 5 minutes left before i get back to the grind of whirlwinding around in circles, wiping, and picking things up and putting them somewhere else. happy valentines day to me. im looking forward to the cleared mind state because i havent finished the coat due to zipper attachment anxiety.

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

forums, blogs, and reviews

sometimes you come across a piece of writing that as you read it you hear the writer ramble and can hear a certain focus. that focus can be the story the writer is trying to write or an unknown focus which manifests itself in the pace and structure of the sentences. punctuation and all that, grammar. this was evident to me when i found the writing of kannibalcorpsegrinder on the imdb user reviews for the movie Karma. after reading his review, maybe 3/4ths of the way in, a certain reality that i could understand showed itself in this vague self referencing, picture flashes of all the nerds i ever spoke to with this focus while retelling a piece of fiction they admired and a certain inattentiveness to worldly time. i could identify. and i appreciated it so much more when i delved into his profile and saw the rest of the reviews he had written for films that i would never see or even have access to. real obscure classics. people are into what theyre into but there is so much stuff already out there but most people dont have the patience to allow themselves to fall into a different pace that isnt dictated by the current trend for "new" which maybe for me has started to feel "rushed" "low quality" "breakable" and all those words that describe cheap. maybe i am thinking of old dollar store or current pop music. if you can ignore what current trends try to lure you away from, your time, would you be happier without the machine prodding your interests towards devaluing your time and compartmentalizing your attention? i was thinking about these long standing user content driven sites, like blogger, blog sites, long standing websites, forums, review spots, that are still around, you can find the old posts going back a decade, decades would be great, i like that. the old haunts. why change anything when it comes to a pile of data that is already accessible. its not like its been a hundred years and we cant understand the language anymore. getting to the juice is the climb. so much fluff out there. capturing the essence of a time is finding a sample of it unchanged, recreating and making it new makes it dated. the best writing you come across is a comment so dense and close to the writers personal dialect or a vividly described other reality, that youre all of a sudden somewhere else. i guess im watching movies on youtube and trying to find a good one on imdb, could you guess. because i cant afford netflix and shouldnt have ever paid for that because finding flicks on netflix is such a bore kind of like these movies on youtube. oh yeah scifi canadian movies over soccer mom flicks.

time is money, attention is time.
when i read pieces of writing that transcend space and time, i like length and clarity but above all i like reading into the passion the writer has for the subject of his writing. i also appreciate a sense of writing that isnt click based or ad based. i like finding a complete world when im avoiding mine, and mine is already filled with wants that are manufactured. a different and complete world is the best time capsule. and how do you handle pace in dated films.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

you were looking at bike parts on the library computer w4m

I don't write out theories on classifieds anymore but if I did, another would go like this:

You were looking at bike parts in the library and I thought who is that nerdy looking thing looking on craigslist for bike parts on the express computer. I was enjoying my morning having a coffee and going to the library and the whatchutalkinbout willis guy under the skylight and then there you were, a shining epic, a mythical drawing in true form, of the now adult youth who slayed Goliath. I thought you looked like a classic greek sculpture. With your narrow waist, flat abdomen, and wide shoulders, curly hair and hairy arms, you had the body of a god and I thought is this Zeus? If this man looking at bike parts on the libraries express computer is my true love, do I have the body to match? Does my bike look ok beside his? Are my flaws equally horrendous and monstrous that I have no chance with this nerdy lookin fella looking on craigslist for bike parts on the libraries express computer? Not just any library, *my* library. I’ve never seen this guy before, what is he doing here, and why is he looking at bike parts?

We never spoke but when you looked at me with your eye I knew it was true love.
Email me

Sunday, April 13, 2014

slang + curtain

lol @ I just can't. I. Don'.t. Understand. etcisms... LMAO just cos I saw it on 2 broke girls. That line between high brow and low brow (have you heard it) I think that might be an Owen Pallet lyric. I was listening to the music on random and Coco Rosie came on and I immediately wanted to change it (Lyla) ugh.

I need new tunes.

Saw Epy in Pinoy Sunday the other day, on a Sunday, op cors. Awesome!!!

Yeah dudes like, I'm totally not digging not having Dominic around to be like, yo man, totally fly and dumb with right now. This mad stack of bills and hella shcweet draaank don't mean shit without your boo. You know whatImean

lol

as if.

OK BUT DID YOU SEE THE CRAFTS I DONED?

Oh yeah heres some great news I passed my Citizenship Exam now I just hope I haven't fudged up so bad IRL they won't let me be one. Who to vote for??? And what answer did I get wrong????

No one knows!!!!!!

Yeah and I made ANOTHER curtain cos I am so teh awesome. It kinda sucks but I thought it would be great prep for too hot summers if they EVER GET HERE PLEASE

ya Im shouting cos I need to chill and go to bed I guess cos yawnsies I gotta do laundry tomorrow.
Yeow so cool. Wow fun.

Anyway here are the pics.
So this fabric I biked over to roncy to go pick it up one morning (saw the free ad for it and went asap) and there it was along with some roman shades I didnt use cos i washed em and eh, maybe paint strips on em i dunno. but there was this huge roll of canvas fabrico that was hanging out in my apartment for like 2 some years and now here it is. In all its hopefully too hot blazing summer glory we will be experiencing soon. Cant wait to go tan and bike around and tone up. I am so lazy and heavy now from my lazy unfresh diet and not enough water drinking.
But look! Crafts.

ok so the pole wasnt long enough (yukyuk) but what i ended up doing was inserting a chopstick on either end so it would over lap the edge and cover the whole window.
what i didnt do was add a panel across the top like i did with the other curtain that just finishes it really http://nicoletirona.blogspot.ca/2014/04/i-made-curtain.html might do it on the front. maybe something patterned. and also I kinda want some kind of fringe. or something. lol whatever it seems to work pretty good. Would look great with spotless windows. ahh.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Tuesday, May 06, 2025

Thursday, March 13, 2025

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Monday, June 10, 2024

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Thursday, May 07, 2020

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Sunday, April 13, 2014

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