so bored

in east york. ill try to make a rhyme about how bored and lonely i feel about being isolated in many levels of life. boring boring boring time squeezing life out of limes there isn't much juice there but squeeze squeeze squeeze anyway the pressure on me to maintain this free market people rape me in is like the worst thing about all of this unpaid driving im 46 now you might get there ive already been summered in take me to your age group ill see what can be done these people you dont see, the third party market son better run for cover mom run run run dont bother with the apps they track you all day and all night hun they talk non stop shit about you, they talk til youre done fed up with the intrusion of your psyche, youre privacy is gone screaming get the fuck out but you must be dreaming its just you and your devices but wait theres more people in the room conceiving these curious ears you dont know where from. when its found out we are quorum sensing when we feel intruded upon these third parties harvesting will be did and already done the damage worldwide had already started the momentum all as one huge group of the intruded upon the smart ones, the curious, the open, the creative ones, all of them, it took them down one by one in the name of for what did they mean by ghosting a girl darling you know boys do that to women because theyre gay silly they cant admit it so they hide and ruin many women i guess youre right now that you said it ill have to think about how its done finding a friend a partner who has one a brain remember but not a cloudy one ill keep my ears open ill look more in the sun to find a perfect partner must mean i dont see them or feel them at all my imaginary boyfriend, my husband to be, my boy friends, and everything to see denied to you and women like me because they isolate us they intrude theyre not a third party theyre in front of your face like food youre humgry so what do you do you push it back and run away crying and vowing not to shut up about gender inequality and the way these gay boys stand out ignoring ghosting and wasting good women all in a days work all in a month or so till the end of the year forever its done theyre gone so dont let these gay guys court you. you better run. take up apps again and listen to them talk shallow as hell pathetic whining babies so many disparaging comments when youre just by yourself along it must be pachitzophrenia it must be someone something stole- its my market mom its my market that has done this to me brought me pain brought me strife brough me all this shit to do and they steal everytjing anyway i dont have much but i give it away i hope someone pays but im telling you now no one does.

community

sometimes we have plenty, sometimes we have none, but most specially we like to have fun. be it night time or day, come what may, see us smile in the sun, bring our friends bag, dont forget it, run. ill bring the razor blades, you bring the foil, a barbeque is what we'll say were having- smoke fuming out: come! whats her number does she have one what about him? i know him. when did she go? did he die-we were friends- now i only have some. the community mourns as one. lets party we all say but we know its just for fun for all seriousness we died already chasing our friends one by one. dont mock or hurt is weve already been done. dont scorn or chastise us, we know. were not blind, deaf, or mute, we're broken, cold and alone ready to say hey hows it going cheer up we're still here, friends, and some. to those that passed before us we miss you and dont worry we still have it, what you left us, the memory of friendship come.

for the man on the bus, a poem.

financial institutions think im crazy crazy institutions think im fine my family must think im really lazy but dont tell me that you arent mine the man on the bus that day smelled so good he smelled of wood and soft water no shaving cream scent at all but his face was shaven earlier and the stubble was starting to show those are the details i did not miss but i sorely miss saying hello when i dont know what to do i become talkative but that day my crazy did shine through for i stared at him so intently instead he took note and fled on foot i wasnt hurt i wasnt sad i was still in shock because i had never seen such a wonderful looking man despite not speaking to him no talk at all if i ever come across him again i will stand my ground might be water or i may not have the strength but i believe one look from him ill be steadfast no fear and it will feel all too real so instead of hope i plot to be more sincere more outside and more on the bus we rode that october last last year. its been so long i wonder.

lost causes and the blues

 lost causes and the blues 

got me down lookin’ at my shoes

wondering where all those people went 

the ones i wanted to spend time with

im not sure how it went

time passed slow or no one said go

either way i said don't choose

maybe thats where the problem lay

no choice made it go too slow

both don't show what then no go 

you lose the chance to spend time in different hues