Showing posts with label attachment style. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment style. Show all posts

Thursday, May 07, 2020

so now im back and i ate some kind of food i made from things i found in the valley of death that the most recent caveman dragged me into.
it was ... ok. i hope.
the caveman is obsessively pounding away at a rock hoping to break it open and use the inside part as a shield from the female horse that attacks him while he gathers berries for his tea.
he thinks the inside part of a rock is soft like an egg but can be molded like wet sand that will dry into a new rock. i want to rest but he is singing the songs from the last time he had exchanges and they are boring songs about street gangs and sucking things and in funny high pitched voices that makes them sound like they sucked up some helium before they recorded the song. my head is weary and tired of waiting for the caveman to leave for a few days expedition so that i can leave without leaving anything else behind but i doubt he will leave for longer than an hour at a time. tonight i thought of making the potion i learned from reading the cave walls by the flowers and plant enclave but caveman with his insistent display of rock pounding and terrible song listening makes it difficult to concentrate. i left some food for caveman so he stops his rock pounding but i dont like to waste food like he does. he makes a show of wasting because he wants me to know he is wasting me.
later on the food is cold and uneaten and caveman offers me some a veal steak he wants to prepare, but since i say no, he eats a pie he bought from the grocery instead.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

oh em gee

wtf is this "life"


While you wait for the others to make it all worthwhile
All your useless pretensions are weighing on my time
You could beg for forgiveness as long as you like
Or just wait out the evening
You’ll only bleed me dry
Yes you’ll only bleed me dry

So I’ll ask you kindly to make your way
And what was left
A perfect cleft
We all fall through

While you wait on the answers that I’ll pretend to find
Keeping up with the motions still occupies our time
You could hope for some substance as long as you like
Or just wait out the evening
And always ask me why
Yes you’ll only bleed me dry

So I’ll ask you kindly to make your way
And what was left
A perfect cleft
We all fall through
And all we want
And what was left


Christopher Michael Taylor / Edward Droste
------

its amazing how many wonderful surprises one can sustain along side heart wrenching disappointment

ive written a couple of poems:

.:

Sometimes I think of you
in waves and abrupt jolts

Patterns emerge
inconsistent from previous understanding

Your crystal aura,
that intrinsic quality.
Rare and a delight to encounter

Like after giving up the search for water, parched,
you come across a lagoon, a bubbling brooke,
a cenote, a pond, lake, waterfall...

The clarity of difference,
so vast
unapproachable
acceptable
respectable

Like the apple tree
every seed gives birth to a new form.


.:

then, in response:

.:

Nicole, I see you suffering.

Why make pains of something so beautiful?

Keep (it) inside and tend to (the) flame quietly.
(Your outer self will thank you)

Since it does not matter which way to go
Any step is the right direction

Keeping in mind that life is for living
And life
Why choose death?

Certainly the clamour and hasty anxiety
Unsure footing and total lack of nourishment
Will lead to an early demise.

Are there enough cliches to scorn you
into submission?

You wear your heart on your sleeve.

You're smarter than you look.


.:

Saturday, January 21, 2012

time and space

found this amazing blog:

http://stopthestorm.wordpress.com/the-devils-child-my-childhood/notes-time-passing-in-my-childhood/

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Attachment Styles....

i figured out whats wrong with me!
complex post traumatic stress disorder
with a preoccupied attachment style. my chart is off the hook on fear/anxiety in regards to my mother. duh.... but luckily, i have an extremely secure attachment style to my father and in turn translates to an excellent attachment style with friends... but my poor romantic partners suffer my preoccupied anxiety! like, omgz lol wtf and am i dreaming or did i find out whats wrong with me for real ?

this wonderful resource tells about attachment styles and also has tests! i love tests. you can download the test as a document and keep it. no tracking shite on this site it is totally LEGIT
http://internal.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm



Aliveness,
exploration
Aliveness,
energy
Are you the right man for me?
Are you safe? Are you my friend?
Are you the right man for me?
Are you safe? Are you my friend?

Aliveness,
exploration
Fulfillment,
creativity

Are you the right man for me?
Are you safe? Are you my friend?
Or are you toxic for me?
Will you betray my confidence?

Are you the right man for me?
Are you safe? Are you my friend?
Or are you toxic for me?
Will you betray my confidence?

Naming things is empowering
I balance,
walk and co-or-din-ate myself alone

Aliveness,
energy

Healthy dependence
And healthy independence
And healthy assurances

This love's a nameless dream
And healthy boundaries
And how long would you miss me

-

written by
FRASER, ELIZABETH/GUTHRIE, ROBIN/RAYMONDE, SIMON
a day or so ago i asked the i ching something. it gave me hexagram 50.4> 44 re: inquiring if someone has a personality disorder> which in turn essentially reflects my self...anyway, i got this hex before. it is the same hexagram, different changing line. the only other labeled hexagram post i make on my blog. that post i made in 2008, that same thread i read over 2 years ago- applies/parallels so hard core right now it is uncanny. i am stunned at the "hello" of synchronicity.