bergamot tip !

im making a bergamot recreation and its already super realistic with 6 ingredients! just found 5 more to add in small amounts. im only using essential oils and its a lot of fun, like doing a puzzle or mind game, if you like those.... been making dilutions all day and im so glad i invested in 100 tiny bottles! .30 cents a piece is a small price to pay for the convenience of use! so many dilutions!
ive made a few formulas for other perfume ideas and some of the accords i made are turning out really well. if i didnt get that thanaka lime also known as persian lime (its those little black ones for food) which is citrus x latifolia (key lime and lemon) i wouldnt have been able to make this wonderful bergamot recreation!
some of the ingredients im using are
bitter orange (citrus x aurantium) respiratory, lemon (citrus limon), blood orange (citrus x sinensis), ...... woops ! dont want to give it all away! specially now that im getting better. at making perfume formulas. its like when you get that click in your head..all my years of reading and learning and smelling are now exploding and i kind of finally know what the heck im doing making these perfumes. so this one is all essential oils. if i get these oils as therapeutic grade this blend would be the best! cos its got so many other beneficial plants in it ... this blend would be great as an

oil and it will be my first experiment with roller bottles and making a "perfume oil" but actually its an aromatherapy blend... but dont tell anyone that! atomizer blend! its for my lungs, a stimulant, it will refresh your system (conceptually) im reading about the medicinal properties of the individual chemical constituents in the oils im using to "recreate bergamot" which has an interesting lineage! but i think calling it a perfume would be more chic. i think im going to call it Bergamot 41.... for my "original"  birthday creation. of course i had a little help along the way from all the little avatars on basenotes..... (a lot of help in the form of nudges i got from comments and posts and i would make mental notes while doing the work of smelling/memory and creation) if it works out its a simple accord and also a complicated formula. I got the lime to rework the cannabis accord actually.. wanted to try to make a bergamot with lemonile and triplal but will play with these maybe have a version with a.c.'s to add structure and longevity and strength.. and while trying to find out what triplal and lemonile was and how it could be bergamot, i ended up making a bergamot, 1, because i go a nature identical "essential oil" and a real one from the same vendor but drat could not find the bergamot, which has aired out. i did however have my old sample still and used it as a reference instead but have been using my suppliers analysis to recreate the bergamot. it would also be good as a tincture or super dilution as a flavouring there is ... ok i will give up more ingredients... hyssop (hyssopum officianalis and chamomile (chamomelum nobille) blood thinner which are beneficial  get so excited with dumb things i learn i want to tell everyone and find out what they know about it too. im such a doofus of course everyone hates this kind of behaviour. when i made the second version and smelled my last bergamot sample from new directions as a comparison i could not believe how accurate my choices were!!! of course it needed fleshing out but wow! ive never done this before picture me on the sofa on the coffee table all these bottles everywhere sniffing one palm then the other giggling with glee and shock (the bergamot from new directions was inexpensive though, do you think it was diluted, the sample on wikipedia is green almost like olive and ive never bought one like that) (i wondered if after all the good stuff was done how many more passes ethyl alcohol will have on the pressed peels) interesting bit is learning about the history of lime, which originated from a philippine citrus, from the south, not for food use but rather cosmetic in use due to its use as a shampoo (the citric acid i suppose closes the hair shaft, cleanses the scalp, and makes the hair very shiny and the oil makes the hair fragrant) it might have also coloured the hair to orange or lighter brown because of the high bergapten in the oil. which is photosensitive, then down the line as the fruit was passed along as a gift- because it would have been rather precious to tend to a live plant across the ocean if they were just using huge galleons at the time. . .i guess they brought seeds but the live plant as a gift is def the way to go and totally believeable because why import a plant that has no nutritional value (oh wait..scurvy)  at some point this lime was crossed with lemon to make the key lime probably adding more pulp as described in wiki, then this fruit was paired with the bitter orange to make bergamot . . . the rest is history !-- ok wait im a bit confused here. so citrus micrantha is bred citrus limon and then with bitter orange to make bergamot. in world war 2 italy was banned from exporting bergamot by the allied forces (united nations) to tone down their aggression during the war so other countries took over the bergamot trade for a while using sweet limes from brazil so the smell is not the same which is why (maybe) there are two bergamot oils. the original one and the fake one. and also to note bergamot oil i guess is classified as a fragrance oil because it was bred for cosmetic use. isnt that a weird spin.  there isnt much study on the medicinal effects of bergamot as of 2017. the poison is the dose is why the original limes were small and had not much juice. the strength of the scent carried it through and its origin was not lost because the fragrance could be traced. much like language and genes.

DIY Hydrogel Mask: Strawberry

I've come up with a new facial!!!!!
I LOVE IT !!!!
it's so tasty.

check it out
all you need is
Spring water
2-3 large strawberries
a spoonful of honey
half a teaspoon of sugar
and
a squeeze of lime (optional)

Slice the strawberries very thinly, leaving the centers intact.
Drizzle with honey and leave until the juice is released from the cellular matrix.
Squeeze a bit of lime into the mixture.
Slip a slice from the glass and drip the excess juice, then apply the strawberry onto your face.
Repeat until your face is covered. Pay attention to your forehead, around your eyes and mouth.
Leave on for 15-20 minutes then remove strawberries.
With clean fingertips, massage your face in tiny circular motions, until all the liquid is absorbed and the honey starts to become sticky again.
Lightly rinse your face with spring water and pat dry.
Feel the suppleness, the smoothness! Your face is now moisturized and nourished with vitamins and minerals.
 The fruit (malic) acid of the strawberry and the (citric) acid of the lime, plus the (glycolic) acid of the sugar, enhances product absorption and promotes blood flow, collagen production, as well as skin brightening from exfoliation and the inherent properties of the acids. You can now apply your favorite precious oil or moisturizer because your skin is primed and ready to face the day. Also you can lick your lips as the juice drips and it is delicious.

Tip: (Optional) adding probiotic yogurt will add lactic acid which is another alpha hydroxy acid that enhances the appearance of your skin.

This is where I read about the acids and note the complete list of their sources on the bottom:
https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/alpha-hydroxy-acid#takeaway

----------
When I did this mask the other day I actually got the idea from my strawberry lime juice. I was washing my thermos and the slices of strawberry had all lost their colour. I was using a coconut soap block for the dishes cos I didnt have anymore dish soap or the will or the extra dollar to buy it, so after washing a huge load of dishes with no gloves and hot water my hands were feeling pretty dry...then came the thermos and me scooping out the strawberry slices and thats when I noticed the amazing moisturizing properties of the fruit and sugar mixture. Then I started playing with the gloop and noticed hey this stuff is really slippery and omg it sticks to my hand then I was totally not doing the dishes anymore and just playing with water and strawberry goop.

So basically what Im trying to say is to make a hydrogel mask with actual gel like strawberries you have to make a large strawberry lime juice and use those strawberries because those ones have a more gelatinous texture. BUT if you want a nice acidic exfoliant mask you can follow the above instructions. After the mask (above) I did notice a slight tingling around my face and for a minute there thought, oh my god my face is coming off but then I went to the washroom and patted my cheeks while looking into the mirror and saw my skin and was like oh this is fine.

this is the original strawberry juice idea in my notebook after i come up with an idea i try to jot it down as quickly as possible before i forget. so many lost brilliant ideas. sigh.

heres what the true hydrogel strawberry looks like

cosmetology and aromatherapy school of hard knocks

ahh it feels like im in grade school
paying my lunch dollar to susan and listening to perry on youtube
meanwhile my case studies are totally pending and giving me writers block
because i was up all night reading about other things i dont need to write reports on

Hair Tonic

oh new hair tonic
how do i start to describe thee
how thy milky sap doth cure my hot head
that lack of water most certainly causes
my wilting locks of dark mahogany
feel refreshed by your opalescent
fragrant waters of life and joy
 when your cooling elixir of youth
touches my parched scalp
i rejoice and sing praise to thee
the sweet mingling of peppermint
and rosemary- a queens remedy
with geranium to balance
my delicate sensibilities
lavender to soothe my worries
and neroli to tighten my skin,
oh new hair tonic i think of you so
and ponder on the quantity
of polysorbate 80
and if it will actually
remove sebum and dht
oh new hair tonic i am writing you down
for my case study
my remedy i do love thee
what kind of preservative do i put in you
are you a rinse off product my love
bows and arrows and knives and guns
cannot compare to the splendor found in thy pearly glow.

whipped butter balm from whats up moms

equal portions of beeswax, shea butter, oils. nice video on youtube of a wealthy mom making this in her fancy expensive kitchen.

oils i used:
peach kernel
pumpkin seed
hemp seed
castor seed
rosehip seed
meadowfoam seed
2 drops r.o.e.

melted beeswax, shea, oils, mixed, allowed to cool slightly, whipped.

i used this for a solid perfume blend and the beeswax added a nice aroma to the composition.
too bad i stupidly gave the only nice sample to patrice. because he is unworthy of so many samples he just leaves them to the elements and asks me when theyre all stale, you want me to use this? ugh. hate him. so ive been putting more preservative in my lotion formulas and they have dramatically improved.

research

been hiding out in the chemists corner formulating forum
http://chemistscorner.com

so many new shiny terms to learn

Citric Acid Conditioner ?

I think i made citric acid conditioner? i was using citric acid to rinse out soap scum but it turns out once my hair got used to the soap i made i didnt really need a conditioner anymore.

1/4 tsp guar to 1/3 c water and 1/16 tsp citric acid (these are all approximate ratios) (i used the ph strip and no scale, which ill make one after i try this blind recipe)

its ph was 5 and i lowered it to 4. is that too acidic?

and its got micelles of castor oil in it. should i have used a different oil (you can see not all the guar gum is dissolved yet)

im going to try it out as a rinse for my hair soap and see what happens.

was playing with the guar gum and its super. so no guar gum lotion yet but maybe this is a conditioner.

not really sure why it takes me so long to play with ingredients?
now im all excited because i think i made hair conditioner.
sheesh.

i guess its a thickened acid water / rinse, and it has some oil in it.
is it a conditioner?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_conditioner
http://swiftcraftymonkey.blogspot.com/2011/02/thickeners-guar-gum.html


i guess if i add the polysorbate to the oils then add it to citric acid water then add the guar gum, then its kinda like conditioner.

what took me so long to do this? i didnt even need to think about it because ive been reading about hair stuff for so long now (cos my hair fell out remember)
i just needed the space and peace to sit down and focus on doing it.

did i make conditioner? i will try a better trial later. i think the guar gum needs 8 hours to fully absorb? and how long will it last?

here is one with more pics + almond milk
https://nicoletirona.blogspot.com/2018/07/almond-milk-cream-hair-rinse.html

Skin Brightening Lotion

I think I used expired cetyl alcohol nf, im not sure, it wasnt stored properly and has been sitting around for ages.
other than the waxing effect of the cetyl alcohol this lotion i think feels ok-good. i chickened out using a water phase thickener like arrowroot or guar gum so ill try that with just regular oil.
so anyway this skin brightening lotions ph might be 6. i have no ph meter and used a test strip on some of the lotion in distilled water and it tested 6 but i dont think thats accurate at all (https://www.researchgate.net/post/How_to_measure_pH_of_cosmetic_cream_formulation_accurately)
so i almost want to add the b3 because it says not to add it to acidic formulas to prevent nicotinic acid formation through oxidation upon contact with water. not sure but i guess it turns into niacin and too much of that internally i know makes your skin flush. but because i dont know the ph.... (is my arm burning? i dont know, its tripping me out)

anyway this lotion is nonionic but im not really sure what that does in terms of skin care properties (need more research)

it has
aloe vera
nutritious oils: mct, hemp, pumpkin seed
precious oils: meadowfoam, rosehip, baobab
2% fruit acid (alpha hydroxy acid) (so its not very strong because I dont have a ph meter)
helichrysum extract
(and i might add the vitamin b3)

im trying it out on one suntanned arm. at night. and on my face, there are three sun spots on my cheek i want to fade.
no essential oil blend to scent it yet, i cannot decide.

here are the pics!

measuring out the ingredients

here is a video of the emulsification!!

mixing mixing ... had bubbles because i was pressing too strong while holding the camera :(

after cooling a bit, it thickened well, i was actually kind of hoping for a more watery lotion but i didnt use a water phase thickener and instead used cetyl alcohol

ahhh...

maybe ill take better pics tomorrow or just for the next trial where i will try a starch as a thickener so the lotion is more water
.:
p.s. i learned all this lotion speak from : http://swiftcraftymonkey.blogspot.com/ 

p.p.s. im scenting this blend with my anti-aging calming essential oil blend -it smells great but now got a bad batch of galbanum oil from a different supplier so it doesnt smell as good as the original calming blend :( still good though.

.:
july 12th 10:30 pm
i dont know if i should add the aromatherapy blend to this lotion. i think its going to go bad or something. i forgot it in my rush to leave for the day and left it in my room with plastic wrap over it and it was stuffy and hot in my room. it seems fine but it probably isnt. so im just going to use it up as is and try again. i actually really freaking love this lotion. its got a great "squishy" texture, it only does the waxing effect when you have a huge glop on your arm, otherwise it disappears quick and aborbs well, has a dry feeling, but there is a slight drag that takes a while to absorb (maybe 10 mins) and i swear it reduced my brow furrow, and smoothed the texture of my skin after the 5th ot 6th application. i usually put it on after a shower or when i wash my face and i just rub it in for a while cos i space out while im doing it thinking about how awesome it is i made a lotion that i wouldnt be able to afford if it was in a store. and that ill always be able to do this and only get better at it.
the other one unfortunately i transferred to a dirty container because i know i didnt sanitize or wash it properly and it was also in my room all day and the container smells bad. like a slight smell of something that doesnt smell botanical or fresh at all so its in the sink looking forlorn. im really bummed about my lack of facilities and containers, but i am really stoked on the skin brightening lotion formula and kind of want to make it again without cetyl alcohol, but i dont know what to replace it with. starches. maybe. honestly my skin is so damn smooth now i am so impressed with the stuff really. i just hope i can make money off my ideas somehow because im so broke on welfare and it makes me anxious that i cant do what i want to do because of lack of money and lack of people around me who understand me when i speak. most people think im really dumb. its really disappointing to me and insulting but what can you do.

Great Post on CBD in topicals and wild claims

https://chemistscorner.com/cosmeticsciencetalk/discussion/4067/cannabis-in-shampoo-and-conditioner

is that omni, their cbd salves have dmso

.:

Cistus.

im making an oil blend right now.

but reading up on labdanum and cistus (had no idea)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cistus

and if you look down to the mapped out species in the genus 
thats what i want to see with weed
and studies backed with the aromatic compounds and their triggers in our systems
how the maturity of the resin on plant, by curing, etc varies the effect of the strain, not withstanding potency or cultivation method. standard. like there are some strains that are standard but there are so many potentially made up names
its an intense map!

but im making a chypre
and an amber
maybe

Cold Process soap making

Here are the cold process soaps i made

turns out i accidentally supperfatted my recipes, to about 1-2% wondering why there was an oil part after most of the soap seemed to have already set, then much later this oil part also set. could it be the superfat excess oil that didnt saponify due to lack of lye or is that just how it goes.  
The lye concentration recommended by the chemist in manila is at 28% and he said that was the minimum so as not to make a harsh soap but ive seen recipes with a 29.something % lye concentration.

Made three different kinds so far. Well four. One is a layered clay soap, one is a plain coconut oil soap with less than a gram of an aromatherapy oil blend, the last is a coconut oil soap and added about a gram of a soothing salve from the expo job.  this one had much more of that excess oil that took longer to firm up after the initial trace. each soap is 100 grams, so the clay soap is 200 grams. its a bit thick. was thinking of slicing it at the layer.

there is some oil left over and will make a couple to a few more bars.... what else can i add? i dont want to waste my essential oils, and i just realized the old fragrance oils i have might not even be for body care (woops)

next to make is a light pink soap with rose and violet leaf. will use way less of the clay so it wont look like a brick. ...
found a soap calculator http://soapcalc.net/calc/soapcalcwp.asp 
and superfatted the pink clay rose soap by 15% and for some reason also added 3 grams of stearic acid. mixed it more because the clay was added with the rose oil and added at trace, then realized i had used the wrong formula and needed to add 12 grams more of lye solution, mixed it again, and did not do that weird oil separating thing. wow. turns out the first bars were not mixed enough.
ok....

 took out the clay soap from the mold, probably two days too early
 it looks super cool. i love how much it looks like a cement block and i love that you can see the folds of the milk box. cant wait to get great at this and also make my own molds.

meanwhile havent done anything about my destash or listing old jewelry stuff up online :/
all i want to do is make soap now. i even forgot about my lotion making. was supposed to get some xanthan and guar gum but i fear the emulsifying wax is wrong. have to try it out anyway. dont really trust the wax or the lady. she didnt really label the products properly and she told me KOH is an additive that makes skin better. so im hesitating. im going to go with what i believe from what she said. i asked her if it was emulsifying wax nf and she said it was emulsifying wax EO, which doesnt exist, so it might be emulsifying wax o (from new directions, because thats where some of her carrier oils were from)
the smell of the clay soap is wafting towards me... a nice fresh, warm hay scent.
hopefully they'll turn out, specially now that ive realized they were not blended properly.
wont even know until a month from now (at least) because they need to cure. damn! im so ready to use them.
next batch will be one large batch and ill use the mixer.

so the next batch to make will be honey and milk soap. found out you add the powdered milk to the oil before adding the lye. and honey after trace and mix very well. someone online mentioned adding the honey to the lye, and tried that and it changed colour to a bright pink.
in manila, we learned to add all the water ingredients to the lye water, so adding the honey to the lye made sense but the colour... couldn't figure out where the milk powder went so after the lye turned pink with honey i added the milk powder to it and it looked like vomit. that's when i threw it out and made new lye water....

this is so exciting! i love milk and honey smelling soaps and lotions.
i love learning how to make new things!

---
here is the picture of the unboxed pink and white layer.
the white layer wasnt mixed properly. so it was soft and stuck to the container a bit.
the pink clay layer is great, mixed properly, but i didnt want to use essential oils anymore so i used artificial...and its the best bar. ugh.
didnt buy oil again yet.
really love these naturally coloured clay soaps. not sure if i want to slice the green and grey one. im just going to leave these as is because they are my first ones. the yellow one in the round container is also not mixed properly so its still soft too.

here is the soft white one. it got hard! i like it because its so banged up. poor little bar. it just wasnt ready yet.

---
im making soap right now and it 4:30 in the morning. woops. woke up from a nap. bought sunflower oil earlier and now im wondering about adding honey to milk and honey bar
this tutorial helped me realize the first soaps never went through this gel phase, they were just not mixed properly.
https://www.soapqueen.com/bath-and-body-tutorials/tips-and-tricks/adding-honey-to-cold-process-soap-tips-tricks-recipe/
i never make the soaps hot. it seems too tedious to wait for the temperatures to catch up with each other or have to heat one or wait for one to cool down.
like this http://www.soap-making-essentials.com/what-temperature-should-lye-water-be.html the comments are quite useful.
another thing i realized is that some oils are cheaper at the grocery, plus no shipping. now im wondering about the lye water available in chinese groceries, but still havent learned the percentage of lye in that water. because otherwise theres a hefty hazmat charge for shipping lye and im almost out of my little 300g container. (oh the hardware stores got lye, duh)

added honey to the soap and the little globules are not dispersing with no hand mixer. i hope this soap turns out.
10 mins later
well it wont because the honey keeps sinking to the bottom so i poured it off and will again before it goes into the mold. besides i measured the oil wrong so the container im going to use is slightly too small. turns out thats perfect because i dont want to add honey to soap anymore until i know how or why im doing it. the honey smell comes from the beeswax but its not very strong at all. i used about 1.5%
so far the soap smells really nice, mildly honey and slightly creamy.
i hope those damn globules of honey dont pour in when i mold it. theyre gonna sink to the bottom and its gonna be weird. oh yeah. itll get weird. reading these comments https://www.soapqueen.com/bath-and-body-tutorials/tips-and-tricks/adding-honey-to-cold-process-soap-tips-tricks-recipe/
guess my main take away here is dont add liquid honey to your soap. just make tea and drink it instead.
15 mins later
um, wow. maybe im an idiot savant or something but i just finished pouring out the soap, poured it twice to remove the sunken honey, and it fits *perfectly* into the container now.
so im really excited for this soap and i hope it firms up. i wont try to remove it prematurely like all the rest. im so excited to slice it!!!
here is the picture of my little loaf
its a plastic desk organizer.
and of course the oil is Unico because i am indeed, nico.

oh pic later the ones i just took are all blue and bad.

hey the soap is still at light trace.
its been at least 10 hours.

found this http://www.soap-making-essentials.com/sunflower-oil.html which says sunflower oil takes forever to saponify and is a soft bar, glad i added beeswax... but its still liquidy :(

i think i like coconut for soap the best. even though ive only tried two different oils ><
got to get a blender to reach trace quicker. my vintage mixer is splattery.

its been over a day and now the oil seems to have separated on top. not sure if it should be remixed. its pudding like

well here it is, june 25, the soap is done. so done i am throwing it away!!!!

 there are little dots of orange oil seeping out

 i think its the powdered milk particles

 it was crumbly and smelled weird... gross.

when i made the melt and pour with powdered milk, i mixed the powder with 98% alcohol, and nothing happened to the milky melt and pour soaps, one is sitting in a wet dish by the sink ever since i made them, they have stearic acid to stay hard and the milky melt and pours dont have any problems..... but this milk and honey bar is broken. so its going to be thrown away.
doesnt it look like a bad brie?

Melt and Pour soap!

So I went to a lady who imports african black soap and shea butter directly from ghana. Bought some black soap and lye, a brick of melt and pour, stearic acid, and emulsifying wax, but the emulsifying wax might be a 50-50 cetylstearyl alcohol? damn i cant even spell it. so i will try to make a lotion at some point, but first here are the three different soaps i made, they are for give aways and experimenting.

first soap is african black soap with green clay and mica, dried rosemary chopped up, and rosemary and mint oil

second soap has stearic acid in it, its a red clay and lanolin soap with commercial rose oil and a green leaves fragrance, then its layered with (powdered) milk and cinammon and rhassoul clay. this might turn out gross, but the smell of the soap with the milk powder was so amazing, then i ruined it by adding cinnamon. also the one drop of commercial rose oil and one drop of green leaves fragrance (left over from INCENSE STICK MAKING ten years ago??) smells Amazing, but the clay makes it look like a terra cotta tile. would make a great kitchen soap (shaped like a brick or tile)

third soap is rhassoul clay, the floral wax, balsam, sandalwood, and jasmine. but it doesnt smell like the lotion i made. it smells like tutti fruitti, not sure why, maybe its the alcohol used to mix the clay in the soap. im hoping the weird smell will go away once all the alcohol evaporates. this mold is a paperclip plastic box as the mold and wanted the top to look like the creamy top but it looks like... mud. the bottom and sides are shiny flat. guess you can use any releasable container.

what i learned:
the melt and pour is varied, this one sucks cos its the suspending version of stephensons, which to my horror upon returning home to google the ingredients is all the sls and propolyene glycol,
found a woman online complaining about how rubbery her final product was, which i too find, except the stearic acid bar. it doesnt bend as much, in fact it barely gives.
next up, cutting the bars and testing them. there is a squirt of lotion in one of them...will it lather? its got parrafin...
and then giving some away for feedback.

all in all an enjoyable and crafty experiment. would make a great workshop.

im going to make lye water today for a coconut oil soap with the coconut oil on hand.
the sogomi workshop provided a list of lye and koh saponification values for a lot of oils, per gram. to be precise. the first example in the workbook is a kojic whitening cold process soap which of course im never going to make, but it is a coconut oil based soap and will just add up all the whitening ingredients and add it to the oil, or use botanical extracts-maybe african black soap shreds. the additives come to about 3 grams for a 100 gram bar of soap trial.
the best part about my sogomi workbook is that there is a tagalog translation beside each sentence. its bilingual. for example
#3 . Add the lye solution. BE CAREFUL! (Idagdag ang Lye Solution. MAG-INGAT!)

----
four days later. the rose milk bar is amazing. i dont know how i made it. its all really loose notes and cant replicate the milk part. used a 97% alcohol and water and rhassoul clay and i cant make it the same because i did some weird unmeasured ratio.

so here is the lemon poppy seed soap!
the poppy seed side is with may chang oil and milk powder
and the beige side is rhassoul clay and milk powder and the lemon flavouring which is basically lemon essential oil.
its all bubbles on top :p didnt spray alcohol fast enough.

------

Lotion Making

so ive tried to make lotion a couple times, both times failed due to lack of ingredients. well, more like lack of understanding the process.
since the experiment failed i decided to just mix my essential oil blend into some other lotion. so i heated coconut oil and melted some cetyl alcohol, cooled it down and added PEG 400 and my essential oil blend and flower wax, melted that down and then added a lanolin base lotion and mixed it as well as possible (but i think it still needs blending). the smell is intoxicating the longer it unfurls. jasmine, sandalwood, copaiba balsam, and this unknown wax material labeled nag champa which i am assuming is champa floral wax. divine.
meanwhile, ive been studying different cold pressed carrier oils and also been compiling anecdotal information regarding using cannabis as a topical. basically all those unsold vape pens with shatter in glycerine or PEG can be turned into a topical. its all very interesting and curious. guess you could say im rather passionate about learning how to make my own lotion. it would be amazing if i could land myself a marijuana cannabis boyfriend this summer. make some stuff and have a nice time.
to seriously start experimenting with different chemical processes and emulsions means to spend money investing in materials. yikes.
i will be starting with the basic emulsifiers and thickeners, stearic acid and cetyl alcohol. these two ingredients are completely safe and natural, cetyl alcohol is a long chain fatty alcohol, mine is derived from palm, and stearic acid, which is a saturated fatty acid what makes up most of the common hard butters like cocoa and shea (its what makes it hard) (its etymology is the greek word for tallow)
 im also going to be playing with rose ether as a fixative and preservative (phenoxyethanol - found in green tea) and sodium sorbate (food preservative)
for my product to be as natural as can be i am looking for safe preservatives that also offer emollient or lend other properties to my final product. i would also like to use antioxidants to extend the shelf life of these cold pressed carrier oils i am looking into. even though mineral oil is very useful ill try plant oils and their power first.
it took me a long while to figure out emulsions but i have had help online.
swiftcraftymonkey
wellnessmama
ewg.org
all the excellent suppliers websites and the information posted
wikipedia
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
soapqueen
cosmetic science talk
the naked chemist
humblebeeandme
makingskincare.com
soapdisharchives
ingredientstodiefor
frugallysustainable
and the list goes on..

without these ladies and gents experimenting and posting their results and knowledge i would be lost.

also really glad i took the sogomi workshop in manila on cosmetic preparations and soap making.
remembering how they built a large mixer by welding a mixer head on a heavy duty drill bit to mix a huge batch of kojic soap was very enlightening.

Soap Making and Smelly Rubber Spatulas

hey you know what i bought borax for my clothes and it totally works. thing is i was still confused on what soap is?

turns out i didnt need to buy laundry soap or dish soap anymore after buying a box of borax.

i didnt see the suds so i didnt know it was soap?

here are some great links that explained to me that i wasted around 10 dollars on laundry soap and dish soap when i could have biked to china town and bought a bottle of their lye water they use to make breads or something (i actually have no idea where to buy lye except go to a chinese grocery and see if they carry the lye water)

http://www.soaprecipes101.com/homemade-soap-recipes/borax-handmade-soap-recipe/

https://wellnessmama.com/462/homemade-laundry-detergent/

http://www.livingnetwork.co.za/drclarknetwork/recipes/borax-soap/

bugs under your skin omg!!!!

New post!

Nothing to say.
Just mindless writing.
Need a job, need to move, need to reduce, need to go get some sleep!
A need is a funny thing to have.

I tried to muster up the courage to keep working in my little room but could not do it. It is impossible seeming for me to make anything beautiful in an ugly depressive place. I couldnt do it. I am sure others can, but I cannot.

Living in an ugly place while going through trauma or depression is worse than forcing yourself to go get a move on.

Surrounding yourself with ugly people because you are too tired to keep fighting them off is worse off than laying down in front of some train tracks and waiting to die. Because truly, the train will get you but ugly people will keep picking at you until you become ugly too. When I say ugly I am not saying physically ugly but that could be too. I am talking about ugly on the inside. Base impulses, evil whisperings ruling the mind. Compulsions and maladaptive attachments and disordered thinking as opposed to a calm and serene mind vibration.

Earlier  I was looking at some plants and thought of how the bark of trees are much like human skin in that when a human is young their skin is taunt and supple, much like a tree sapling, then as it ages, the bark grows thicker and wrinkly, a lot like a human. It also seemed to me that trees dont seem to die of old age, but rather of diseases and rot. If human skin is like the bark and leaves of a tree, what can we learn from studying plant diseases.
For example again, today while I was looking at a cute red berry plant, I am unsure what it was, a holly type plant, I noticed it had a sickness on the leaves and wondered if it was how the plant grew or if it was actually a sickness. I took some pictures which I can post in a bit, on the new nifty text to blog posting (which i did not know if before) but looking at the surface of the diseased looking leaf, there were yellowed and red spots with a black centre and I recalled an image of a skin wart on skin with a black "seed". The part that really took me by alarm was that on the other side of the plant disease spots, were little leg looking things, as if the black dot had grown roots, and it kind of disgusted me, because when I was a child I had developed a plantar wart on my finger and I remember it being on my finger forever, maybe a year or more, looking at it, and picking at it, asking the maids about it, who consistently insisted that I needed to soak it in water (maybe salt water i cannot remember) and then pull it out because it had roots, they said. When I saw the spots on the leaves and thought of that wart picture with the black seed in the center, I also thought of the maids telling me to pull the plantar wart out by the roots (which i never did as i was too scared to do it because i didnt believe them when they said it had roots which i thought were only reserved for plants) Anyway it made me wonder. About spider mites. YIKES and I thought oh my god are these little black dots on the leaves a hybrid of spider and plant mutation and I was horryfied because one summer I tried to grow a tomato plant on my balcony but it got left there for a week and it got covered with spidermites, which I touched and stuff and tried to eradicate with spicy water and all manner of home made remedies, none of which eliminated the spider mites due to inconsistent applications. Anyway I thought que horror! Are all skin viral infections a form of literal bug specie that is unrecognized? And I gagged!!!!! I thought about alopecia and a proven essential oil treatment  (cedar atlas, rosemary, thyme, and lavender essential oils in a carrier applied to scalp for 7 months straight) and I thought are those oils that kill bugs? And I thought omg the little bugs that live inside the sebum sacs of your hair, too many of them may be a cause of hair loss... and I gagged again!!!!!!!! UGH
And it makes me think of this french mode of "keeping their lover close to their breast" by plucking a body lice off their lover and encasing it in a gilded cage necklace "so it can suck on my blood as well" OMG so gross. This is of course super vintage france when they wore bodices and stuff like powdered wigs or whatever.
Have we never left the dark ages?
Has our desire for innovation and renaming old things turned us into complete idiots?
I mean, what if they renamed alopecia, head lice? Is this true???? Am I spewing fake news????
I dont even know anymore. All I want to do is find out if its true or not. And go swimming. Thank god summer is finally here today. I have no clean clothes nor any motivation or extra cash to do it properly (those big washers are $6 a load and I have about 4 loads, plus drying... oh i guess its not too bad, im just lazy- more on this later) so in consequence I wore one of the last clean tops in my cabinet, which is partially made of wool. And I am gagging again but not because its gross, but because this wool top also has a scarf attachment. I am dying of heat and also this bored looking guy beside me in the coffee shop is kind of freaking me out. Should I go swimming or look up the weird diseased plant leaves I saw today and try to text post them to this here blog?
Only time will tell! And soon, its really sunny and I havent gone swimming all year.