lost causes and the blues

 lost causes and the blues 

got me down lookin’ at my shoes

wondering where all those people went 

the ones i wanted to spend time with

im not sure how it went

time passed slow or no one said go

either way i said don't choose

maybe thats where the problem lay

no choice made it go too slow

both don't show what then no go 

you lose the chance to spend time in different hues

hexagram 44

 UNREAL i cant even believe the iching now. i went on ewalds site to ask for coins i threw myself. well the answer was 44 unchanging. no use in marrying the strong woman etc etc etc.

the question? of course it was:

what kind of outcome can i expect from my loves because i feel excessively polyamorous.

 excessive because the extra lover is just extra and treats me horribly. then i have the chipmunks to deal with and foster. not really. more like be there for because these chipmunks are me but boy. well not exactly like me but i can identify with their 30s identity crisis as their old held beliefs on what life was supposed to be like at their age crumbling at their feet while they do gay stuff for crystal meth again and they wonder why i get so disappointed in the choices they make as they relay their adventure story in reluctant gaydom. yeah so probably should nix that one errant lover. so uh that just makes it me and patrice then and thats way too serious. so its kind of embarrassing were still hanging out with each other after 6 years its a bit long isnt it. i need another lover asap and so does he. quick!

 i wish i could be less dramatic and more "crying audience" 

or something more IMPACTFUL

and motivating

like when im telling darryl if you dont return my stuff im writing a police report

then get lazy and actually start to believe that joe is darryl and realize i need to find a new lost love

but i dont think there are any anymore i found them all 

except joe i havent found him yet 

(insert pic of joe)(insert pic of darryl 20 years later)

(insert pic of me same time as joes pics)(insert pic of me same time darryls pic 20 years later) 

im going to scream