lame

​well i just started a new drawing after not finishing the last one because i dont like the colour scheme.

looking for a rabbit i heard they collect books. that man on the bus looks like one- a ravbit i mean. also he would be great to discuss colour pallets with because his was incredible while i was in all faded black that day. im super disheartened actually and practically listless. my favorite match 3 game (blitz by esport newco) thinks im a piece of shit for deleting my account now i feel demonized by their fraud prevention and payment processor software. then i lost ten bucks on flyX but only after winning 20 of course. then also im stuck on the same candy crush level for days now since im boycotting oaying for gold bars. im going to be broke this month because of my entertainment budget over used by gaming online. ugh. ive become addicted to gambling small change all month its huge i hate it its taken over drug consumption and this worries me. am i changing? haha got cha. tomorrow or rather later is the eclipse and im excited. 

i kind of want to move i got too high too many times and made a total ass of my crazy self but i dont remember so i think the neighbours hate me theyre always spying on my they are spying on me right now even and its hella late. i want to move the people here are kind of duds and they also likely think im insane so they will never respect me or treat me humanely also theyre all foreigners so i feel mostly icky and preyed upon. 

anyway i dont actually care because i know for a fact im not doing anything to other people being in my apartment alone. 

thrned off my twitter theres just a void no feedback whatsoever so i feel robbed of the camaraderie i seek on social media. its only my reaching out. im unrelateable and ignorable so i just wont bother with it. might turn it on again later but its obviously not credited to me, any of my posts pics thoughts anything i retweet like its a huge void of not getting any feedback on something that you wanted to share with a like minded person. ill have to reactivate later when i feel better. no one says anything here on my blog either like i dont even know if peoole i know read this because they would never tell me and i also find that problematic. yeah online shit sucks for me after all that living on it. i never got anything back online or in real life. so im super tired and bored and not into sharing anymore of my life because it feels rapey.