​patrices autism is getting out of hand like im even considering attending this zoom meeting for autistic chronic meltdowns. I have been feeling out of sorts recently because we keep foghting about nothing which escalated from one of his meltdowns. Then the endless insults i cant handle it and without any support because he refuses to engage with my friends or introduce me to his friends so its very singular and isolated to experience and then im left by myself and no one would understand because they havent met him. So lame. It makes me so tired. Meanwhile here the radiator leaked to downstairs totally ruining their ceiling and wooden floor. Of course im blamed and in hot water already. Yesterday was great despite the problems because vlad came by and we went to the rave and i met ryans brother kyle and christine and allos came just when the cops arrived so they didnt get to hear any of the music but we went for dinner unfortunately that broke up the band and vlad and john left while kyle was charging his phone and then we went to dinner and i didnt hear from kyle till later. So much fun and such a lovely day it was just weird with arguing with patrice. Im so weary of him and i never really noticed it was his autism before but now that hes been at my place since october on and off i really got to get it and let it sink in. I cant say im into it and i told him that im withdrawing and i just cant care about him anymore because it would mean not caring about myself.