The threat in my mind: traumas expressive love for drama

 Jesus fuckin h christ do i go extremely nuts when i cannot find something. After all my devices and laptops were stolen (darryl stole my new laptop and my last hard disc drive containing all my jewelry designs from before) and all my new clothes i scrounged and taxied stolen here after all my clothes were stolen at the storage and tents and inside my locked storage and the shelters street haven stole the most. And if you look now street haven closed down and now are a rooming house? I am scared theres a woman pretending to be my mother or the tranny victoria from sistering still targeting me and coming in here. Ive seen a skinny guy always milling about out back and just today i saw a couple more people who dodged when they saw me out my window i smoked a ciggy cos porkchop left one. The thing with these tenants that i think are fake and sent here or are squatting based on hacked or cracked info spying and theft, have robbed me while i have guests here or my guests rob me when these guys who lived here after me are milling about my room when the guests are here. I think theres a steet gang that is targeting me and im getting harassed by them and their friends and co-theives. I just find it disgusting to have to be scared of the two giant black guys here now as one has taken to humiliating me and my guests by chasing me around the house wearing only underwear and opening the door for my guests wearing only underwear. They mock and make fun of me after bullying me and call me racist and post black lives matter signs after they ripped my kitchen signs off the shelves and kept eating my food and using my platesand stealing my heirloom glasses. They stole my red gold glasses that were mid century modern i had six in 3 sizes and i never should have trusted these men because i didnt want to be racist. Well i sure the hell am now. they just keep disrespecting me non stop they do it for fun they do it for kun as he chooses these men to bully me apparently and he tells them what to do maybe as i have heard him slander and demonize me to potential tenants in front of me. He got the black indian guys to punch me and bully me, one chased me out of the washroom while i was using it. I deactivated my twitter. They target me . Theres a chinese guy from twitter that stole my names .com and reroutes people to my accounts if they google my name. I dont know who he is or where he is now but some other asian japanese people stole my website itsyourlifeshop.com too. Im gonna have to quit the internet and go off grid probably this year . Look at what happened. A bunch of untalented theives from indian and black countries have been migrating here on my word, robbing me of any space or rental i can find before me. a gang of chinese people have been hacking and robbing me of my rights and worth by destroying my belongings. a bunch of street addicts i helped out have ben targeting me and robbing me slandering me to the drop ins so i didnt get any help and they made it worse. i get slandered and demonized by a lot of men i say NO to all they do is gross me out and when i deny them they attack me for years they tell everyone they come across lies and ridiculous stories they made up about me. It doesnt help my own family tries to murder me and make me disappear. They dont talk to me but i can still feel their clutches on me blaming me for their abuse. Ugh then all the fake boyfriends and fake lovers who only stole from me robbed me damaged my psyche and disrespected my boundaries. All of them were like that most of them had sexual trauma or gay experiences they regretted. Im so tired i hope to die soon.

The unresolved trauma makes it worse. I thought i lost more stuff today and freaked out but found it under the bed but i didnt find the glasses obviously. The trigger is so fast and hard when i dont see something right away i fly into fight or flight and cannot manage to calm down this happened with my vapes after redwan stole them consistently. I even got a herpes on my tounge after i smoked a stolen vape how is that even possible i want to throw up they are grossing me out. I want to charge all of these people with harassment but since that will take forever i just hope and pray the revenge gods are on my side when i leave this one. The trauma subsides when i feel safe but safety and security come with time spent in those assured states. I just hope the cops can help with the theft and naming kun and his family if they actually own the house and why they are liable for its maintenance and the rampant theft and complaints. I heard from 311 that this place has been complained about before and for good reason. Hosting a toxic environment in an insidious manner in order to gaslight and continually rob women of their independence and freedom sounds like a form of extremism wouldnt you think? My militant traumatized mind says : totally.