well that escalated rather slowly and abrubtly ended, with hopes.

so i found jacob in my real life facebook and a bunch of other tent people i dont know and a few people i did know, but worst of all was my autistic cousin luigi was there and im not sure how he got in there, he might have deactivated his account when i deleted everyone or whatever but i got really scared these trolls and influencers and propagandists might have been interacting with him. holy god hooooweee. so i told him its not safe and hope he deleted that creepy andrew jack copy cat troll that is very persistent. not sure what that is but that needs some assistance and might be just what the police and those ai people need to study. all that trolls account is fake filipino names making a mockery out of people all the comments and posts are vomit inducing and i think the troll is making my cousin sick. made me sick in less than one minute. so please can you make sure youre not feeling like you are being fooled to accept a slight because thats the worst kind of abuser and might last for years to a lifetime, very damaging, some kind of swamp creature licking at you under its fake skin of a reasonable looking humanoid. 

but the trolls. so i figured out or kind of understand the structure of what it felt like. 

it felt like someone was stealing the return on my word of mouth and original thought output online. these two sources i always usually got what i expected from the spin, mostly in different interpretations and never to my advantage except for getting the ideas across enough to be widespread enough that its legal and ok now. then it became some thing felt like it was chasing me around, a landlord who stole the identity of joe and was chasing me around town by denying me a place to live by discriminating against me cos of the nature of marijuana (/?) and at the same time housing me in strictly only the worst houses that no one else rented or wanted or were closed down due to rodents or pests, while robbing me of my health records showing that landlord (steve) in particular had given me sleep paralysis and nightmares because of his behaviour inside the house on manning, and other weird stuff when i was renting, then when i was homeless the drop ins started targeting me and shelters too, but they targeted me by my first name cos i dont think joe knows my name is michelle nicole. so it was a really strange paradigm where i used michelle as a first name and people who know me on paper use michelle, but if i met one of these plebs i would introduce that my name is nicole but michelle is fine, then the people that know me as nicole alone (this is where joe lay) and people i know from a long time ago who know my name is michelle and nicole but know me as nicole alone. really confusing for me at first but now i see why people would think i was lying about something. 

so who is joe? joe is an old cannabis shop keeper and grower from bc. i fell in love with him and he broke my heart and he took it back and offered to fly me out to come visit him but i said no and i literally never saw him again and regret it to this day.. fuckin cried about it and everything and i always felt that if i had gone out to go see him i wouldve ended up never suffering as much as i did throughout my time in canada on my own. like id totally be ok to have kids with a guy like joe. he was so responsible and quick to the task and never any hesitation after assured thought. i wouldnt even think about it with regards to responsibility but for loyalty cos i guess he was trying to make me jealous and i had just arrived to canada and i couldnt handle it cos i was badly traumatized when i arrived here and hadnt gotten over those things yet so it was too much humiliation to bare and i couldnt accept his offer which he gave the summer after we broke and i left him with some watermelon looking blonde. 

i still remember the first day i walked into that kitchen. reminds me of hey rosetta! "we made a pact" . just realized i looked up where his old shop was on commercial on this dinky creep wifi so if anyone says they know where it was and you doubt them its probably cos theyre creeping on me. 

so i found this and thought it sounds like joe but im not sure. also did he sell to green room. looking forward to voicing concerns and ideas for previously criminalized actions regarding protection of property, after all cannabis is a proven medicine and a huge relief to suffering so i really do not believe these men and women should be disallowed to work in the cannabis industry just because they were defending their right to grow and sell an ethnobotanical. entheogenic plants are a huge boon to the mental health of civilians who need to reach out to nature for a grounding back to our reality of city living. we have all forgotten that people are our main resource and without connections made through open communication we cannot compare each others schema and life arc to gauge the health of our locales and connections throughout the country and further. it was very important to me to maintain honesty as my way of communicating because i was sick with physical ailments that were never addressed and forming an unhealthy relationship with being ignored as someone with physical limitations while being followed and targeted as a source of wealth by addicted thieves was really scary. i was getting violently beaten up by guys i didnt know much at all. once by a complete stranger in a car. personal boundaries and support and what i need from people and what people want to offer as support are vastly different and very private to me anyway. 

i have been getting labeled as some crazy person who has no mind of her own and is a risk and danger to i dont know what actually, a danger to ugly houses? the police and tenants by the landlords have been putting me in camh and camh had been treating me like some wild animal tying me down to the bed and masking me and leaving me in an isolation room what the fuck i still had some sinus problems that were melting off my face then i couldnt breathe and then what was that all about with the shelter staff stealing all my clothes this one couple in particular the guy worked at st stephens and the girl worked at street haven and they both combined used their access to my privacy and they stole my clothes and followed me to grizzs tent and i saw them sell bags of clothes to him. now that i think of it i think they were looking for nicole but thought i was michelle and denied that i was nicole to the person looking for me who i think now, might be joe my first long lost marijuana boyfriend that i wouldve totally had a baby with from when i was 22 or something. now im 42 and this kind of shit is happening, still. and i just wanna die and hate going outside these days. its all minus to me. i dont get anything back from the ideas i put out there i think steve and his porkwop greek gang of goofy tards from florida and around stole a calabrian mafias reputation and word of mouth to destroy what turns out to be my almost blind father named joe too, and me, what people found out about michelle cos they were looking for nicole under the table for joe the marijuana grower. ffs. it makes way more sense than anything i ever tried to figure out and also it really depresses me cos if it was actually joe and if joe was selling weed to green room then hes been here in toronto since 2013 and i wished he got back in touch with me in 2004 but i think someone was already hiding me and obfuscating the nature of their enquiries and donations and other tokens of gratitude that were meant for me because i have been vocal and explicit about my experience with regards to legalization in canada and the medical program access i really fucked up by not being believed as a woman with physical disability, serious trauma that caused ptsd, and as well i had some maladies that worsened with stigmatization regarding these problems i had with people not communicating properly to me. anyway i think this sounds like joe. i never knew his last name, or if i did, i forgot it.  The War on BC's Small Pot Farmer | The Tyee