my crush

how do you think ill ever find him when i dont know anything about him. should i be milling about the law library because he looks like he could be anlawyer or maybe i should kick it in UofT or some campus somewhere downtown because he looks like a university lecturer. i dont know where to hang out if hes a designer, like he could be an architect too. point is the man is fine as hell and i dont care if he might be too much older than me ill have to just lie about my age if we ever meet. ill say im 50 i wonder if he will believe me. i think one time i saw him on the subway but i was entering the car he was leaving and it was rushed so i only thought of him after and missed it. drat. i really wouldnt know where to go mill about in hopes to catch his eye. and i should probably try dresses. he looks so gentlemanly and handsome i dont think me in the rags i was left with after all those other homeless kids stole all my clothes repeatedly until i had no clothes left will do. i miss all my beautiful clothes. i used to soend three hours dressing up almost everyday. the large variety and abundance of my 20 year long collected wardrobe was my permanent home and those losers kept stealing it from me, targeting me to keep stealing my clothes while i was himeless too. i lost my clothes just as i was getting older and now i just dont have the energy to buy an entire new wardrobe that took 20 years to collect. everythings gone. shoes, dresses, coats, coats, coats, pants, jackets, skirts, tshirts, tops, underwear even, gloves, hats, touques, scarves, socks, hoodies, sweaters, all of it. it makes me cry. and the amount of clothes i found while i was walking around those three years i was homeless was a boon that also got stolen by shelter staff mostly. i have a burning hatred and resentment because of all the theft non stop i want to get compensated and sue or murder someone. it would be justified. i know i was robbed and the clothes brought to grizz and sold to public butter / blk mrkt and i hope that store burns down with the purchasers and losers with stolen clothes in it. maybe thats another thing i could do with my crush. burn down shelters and drop ins that attacked me for being queer or beautiful.