Exhilarating strains on seedfinder

Check out these cool word clouds on some great bud

Cant manage to figure out why im so fidgety and anxious again other than the fact that im not moving out fast enough and i felt bullied again in the kitchen by the guy downstairs who doesnt respect my personal space and comes right up to me every single time im in the kitchen like he doesnt even wait for me to move out of the way he is so awful and rude hes the guy who chased me upstairs wearing underwear only i was SO SCARED hes like 6’4” and super black skin tone and unattractive face and fit and totally awkward and i think he is mentally ill. Hes making me scared and hes lapping it up and it freightens me these are the tenants kun chose there was one nice native looking guy who was renting and kun saw i had a quality quip with him so instead he chose these black guys. I dont even know if anyone will help me it feels like im being used by various agencies for propaganda and abuse and policy making and scenario baiting and im super exhausted and tired and every single person is doing something else, like no one in my social circle, just punters and creeps or something i dont know what to do about it but deflect them as they come in packs of a cascade of insistently irritating pleas and calls for attention all at the same time and none of it positive supportive creative or even interesting. All about some delusional boi issue at hand with as little words as possible to almost nonwords. Lame as fuck and really wasting my attention and care. Im being consumed by people i would never talk to before i was forced by society to die in filth because i was sick and didnt know it. Such is life but these men cannot continue. The thefts must end now. My authority, however it was, stolen and used to murder me by my violent psychotic younger brother, will be returned by who ever raped it from my beating chest. Ripped my soul from my body and started using my body without my consent! Started assuming they had every right to all my belongings, everyone i knew,  all my accounts and mail too. It was enough for me to at this point have already forgotten what my life was before, having no one to stay with me and actually share and enjoy the responsibility and worth without having had the problem of making the money to purchase it, and instead transfer that worth and value towards maintaining it within the context of our shared life. Could not find a single person let me tell you all i found were theives and liars. Its to my disappointment i type this out on my celphone as darryl who stole my computer and everything written in it and all the photos from the year and older, .. yes while i type this on my celphone darryl who stole it is likely i believe fucking the girfriend he had the entire time. The same girl who stole my visa card and maxxed it out the day i saw darryl downtown. Its beyond heart breaking, its sinister and punter duplicate of every single guy that wanted to play dominic in my life . I dont really care to get into it but it has something to do with the lowest quality men, girls they deem whores, and how the men in thier desire to prove themselves an adequate fuck up willing to be reformed combined with their not being able to meet the girl at her rate as advertised in a timely manner- these men sometimes follow women for years and take forever to make their calculated moves based on the girls previous lovers and expartners tried and true love stories. To the girl her old lovers become a redundant myth and vomit worthy slimey and lessee males all of a sudden become the replacement scenario and its a programming language or way to code and people do it in real life and its more common than what i consider normal by any means. Its not white people its 3rd world immigrant males who are savvy with app and share economy tricks. Anyway that aside as i got oolder I noticed the men get sicker and sicker and the younger generation of men become ruder and ruder as if they never had a wise or grounded male figure to look at ever. I suppose this is equality, the lack of regard to the burden of womanhood and femininity, but to for the younger lack of experienced immature male to adopt this attitude of lets put your female woes aside and talk as equals as opposed to it being inherent in their demeanor, just makes for a really patronizing childish temper tantrum having flighty little yellow bird. Not the man of my dreams and did I tell you for some weird reason I have a hard time finding appropriate men in the ages i prefer. Anyway i have patrice as my best friend and age category i like amd not angross pervert theif like any of thee darryl billy porkchops at all. So i have to focus on not accepting their low vinrations and remember everything they do isnt how patrice conducts our friendship nor is it anything I would ever even remotely fathom much less attempt to even consider doing …. You know? Like, i didnt take that stalking job but i took the 40 bucks he gave me to keep my mouth shut. I dont think these men have any idea with whom they speak with and meet much less interact with and affect. Truly i dont think they even know to care. Its horrifying enough for me to have to live with strange men i am never introduced to who have been repeatedly violating me as their manners towards women dictate. I have already mentioned my traumas here and any insensitivity is just that. I dont want to understand who or what these men are gamging up on me for but i did spine chill when darryl said im coming with my entourage and the calls and bothersome slew of various arrogant pushy men ensued. Terrible coincedence and with god hope to find the right patterns that keep me away from these challenged men and women.