Another lameo rant let me post something interesting when i get a computer / laptop for pics and links

 Well im not homeless anymore... hey i just thought of a great idea! I can start all my blog posts with "well," as if i was talking to the well i fell into. Unfortunately i didnt get rescued, i slept walked out and ever since i walked back into the house i thought i lived in ive always wanted to fall into a well again. 

You know, like wells fargo. Like, leaving ? Far away ... anyway

Go Well ! By the pet shop boys not my fave track but very applicable here with the shades and hand gestures and all.

I just wish i had a better memory and could remember more and all of the good stuff. Instead of what happened. Or I want the thing that makes it all better to hurry up already.... but in my minds eye i see my older female relatives.... and i know its misery and pain until death. Being raised as i was then add all the super abusive stuff i had to keep quiet about because i was a dumb baby kid who follows what elders told me. Ugh it makes me sick. Like actually i just want to hear about how all my elderly relatives were raised and all their family stories and how to make specialty foods and stuff like that. I was gross before though and no one actually liked me. But i was abused and paralyzed and confused etc. So in case i get the chance again, thats what ill stick to doing and wanting to experience in the family setting. All that stuff that they told me and from what i remember when i was a small child. Something bad happened. I think it was when some staff or a theif or some relative stole my dads identity and then they swarmed me and everyone i knew, mocking us, vast empty eager eyes waiting with a drooling feverish glee. Damn! Its MKICRATTZZI TIME!

Yo one time i heard some cat with the i.d. stole her work to sell her property! Yo it was the total burn!!! Not only did we get her to do stuff for us while we stole her graf name she just came up with, we stole her property she inherited and kicked her out of it! Then she got raped somemore wbile she had to stay outside all winter! Waahahah fuckin funny shes sjch a dumb cunt (high fives) yeah bro i love phtting her down it feels great *chest bumps* meanwhile im like all chipper kk have a great day! And then walk home dead inside and cry when i get to a spot where i dont feel intruded upon, even if its not true. Thats all i can look out for these days. It doesnt matter actually except that 3rd party started to invite itself into your body and murder your soul to replace it with theirs. And when its happening its super uncomfortable. Its happening to me right now actually its why im propted to write. I am intruded upon right now and i am too tired to not use the computer because i read a lot of stuff i dont know about to learn about more stuff in the world so i can have a better frame of mind. Not sure why people stopped doing this i tried not to and i can tell but ive always been more sensitive to how people make me feel, if theyre being authentic or not. Cos i hate plastic or fake i mean i can jive if its mutually funny but if the other doesnt know im being sarcastic cos its actually depressing then we can jokes all night although i wod of course rather have also back and forth exchange of ideas

I cant pick that up off anyone and i try to but most people are stuck in this anxious mode of trying to inpress by denying me my education or experience and when i give them all the awkward demand for respect they asked for i study them talking and engage and they are then i get bored immediately and sometimes it will take them a while to leave already cos its like ok how much more of this are you going to take from me and insult me wkth today? Like most people like this are incredibly boring and i feel like i should be paid as their nurse but i honestly do not want to be arou d boring dead awkward people that relish in their disrespect or even enjoy the role in their head so much that i feel left out as someone who is being polite. Lkme hello what is it about these folk surviving off watching me like a woman praying mantis would.. yeah so i do the fuckin small talk chitty chatty i fuckin hate it it makes me feel stupid and i hate how stupid and boring the people around me are. Like theyre so uninspired and unself-possessed. Although this was a feeling i had to  cultivate. Talki g pitely to them is like... i think im mainly just traumatized by talking to vapid people. i always have no idea what they were expecting. I mostly feel like im talking to someone elses grandmother who is very frail and much care needs to be raken to respect her. But actually theyre stealing your phone and signalling your calls and while youre padalyzed at how boring they are the other one is stealing your cash from your backpack while you wear it and some of your weed too then slowlyput your wallet and weed sack back. Honestly. Its like "yo why is everyone treating you like this" and all i can say is "bad breath?" and shrug. I mean how hard it is to tell someone something about them if its absolutely no, hello i didnt have a sense of smell from bacteria diseases and viruses dirt fungi and dust. Hello i think i lived through world war 2 with all the fantail explosions and heavy lead asbestos or whatever. like would you let a blind man go out with graffiti on his face like 'cock dick nazi balls' and drawings of dicks and balls all over their forehead and nazi signs on their cheeks? No. Because its not funny, its a health problem. People will laugh at him and not tell him to his face and it will cause stress and that stress will make him forget to take his medication, or he will become preoccupied with the reasons why other people are trying to exclude him from his own life and accidentally fall into an open drain or much worse, a very deep drain and his foot will catch and if only his foot was free he could have braced his fall better but he didnt and he bashed his head on some sharp object and falls back into the deep drain and oh no hes blind and cannot see and no one will help him because its noisy and most people are total shit these days and would probably rob him and kick him before running away. I hate now my brain works i need to smoke more weed.

Heres another example youre all familiar with. 

 Iiiiiits MKICRATTZZI TIME !

See i made mkicrattzzi as an example to me. like we all hate rats and bad breath which i incorporated in one name but also upon casual inspection and closer discussion (with me of course) the deeper meaning of mkicrattzzi emerges. its only through this indirect casuality that the gist emerges and then clarified with my understanding of the persons comprehension. This is what they steal and manufacture. A casual rape in nonchalance b flat. Ugh

I cant wait to get a new computer . I also dont want to spend mo ey and want to hunt the theives down and skin them alive. Skin them meaning like make them skins. Which is whats been done to me. Thats why j get so bottom of my stomach lurchy and uncomfortable. No matter how "safe" i am, unless i feel unemcumbered , no intrusive judgements and expectations of me submitting to my fate as some form of person to be stolen from remotely or otherwise, im fine. So guess what everyone thinks im totay crazy and always spazzing cos its totally not fine what happened to me and its suicidal inducing and against my human rights. When i get a computer i will post the pics of the aftermath of the abuse i went through(if i have any) its not like i have a hacked video and recorded voice of them literally laughing at me while scheming for more. Thats what someone else did for me. Isnt that sweet. Now if only they wod give it to me sincerely and then we ended up becoming best friends! Yeah i know im super corny. 

Anytime you wanna hire me for a concept you see, consider sending me paypal money instead! Or email money transfer. Is that safe though ugh i hate peopke stealing money from my odsp care hacking my emails and sgealing my mail etc it makes me go crazy and want to do the same thing but its not satisfying as getting ahead kr pulling a wool over....actually thats horrible and i would not take the job. Tbank yoh good night. Someones walking around outside and i am despairing for a ciggy.

Wow thats a terrible amount of typos ey. If i autoreplace while typing the keyboard makes shit up and if i leave the sughestion box its tedious to look at both all the time and then refuses to spell slang properly. 

I feel raped by some app developer. Then i want to wail and cry into my care givers nonchalant b flat while he pets me head and chokes a bit as he tearfully says its ok its ok itll get better and ill sob and say no it wont it only gets worse and then he doesnt say anything and looks away and pets my head some more and gives me a quick tighter hug and says im going to bed... where are my cigarettes?