the cute baby in the not blender on reddit today really loaded my browser up with too many cookies.
but it also cheered me up immensely. that cute baby, babies dont look like that anymore. machines dont look like that anymore. it looks like a picture from the 50s - 70s.
chatting with alvaro about trauma from confinement last night and how to manage the decayed portion of your motivation by thinking positive thoughts, obviously, and keeping busy as best as you can. its a weird thing to bond with your previously estranged ex husband about trauma from nonconsensual confinement, both of us having gone through a similar traumatizing experience. so keeping busy and fit so you lessen any body pain while keeping your mind active, and thats as far as we both got. lol. so maybe we are still figuring out our traumas and managing the symptoms on a day to day basis. its not like we have sought out academic help with professionals. alvaros gone and posted some ads for cooking lessons with recipes. hes a great chef and managed and opened a restaurant when he was here and had his little stall in kensington. so i was surprised because i was thinking the same thing to post some costume jewelry assembly and repair lessons and basic sewing, machine and serger lessons but all the patterns are in manila. anyway, it would be a fun thing to do but i never posted the ad or committed to formulating a plan or cost strategy for lessons with materials included. alvaro is charging $100 canadian for his home based cooking classes (with internet component and recipe booklet) (cute right) and he is in mexico. it was helpful and encouraging and made me want  to come up with a plan already and see if it will work for me with my experience in crafting. maybe post a new link on the side with this info.
still moving in here and today is cleaning the kitchen. havent really gotten the bulk of it done, having moved twice in a month within rooms. my room looks like a 60s hangout now. figured out the space with the furniture it came with plus my stuff from storage. the dresser this room came with had vintage wallpaper badly cut as drawer lining, and in the first drawer there was a packet of old export aquafuge rolling papers made in quebec, and a nudie playing card tucked underneath the wallpaper. i kept it and thought, what a great sign.
 the other day there was a yard sale down the street, the sweetest old couple thats lived on this block for over 50 years, they know the landlord and the lady told me how she misses those days back in the 60s where the whole block was packed with kids all rowdy and bothering the old man who lived next door, how my landlords kids used to play with their kids, she tells me this while upselling me this ornate mirror tray and two martini glasses for an extra $2, saying she was more crazy back then, that they had so much fun. in the end, i bought a bunch of stuff for my comfort, all vintage stuff in pristine condition, an unused glass bowled iona mixer made in winsor- in its original box and yellowed plastic, still works great and this is what ill be using to practice my ala fight club concoctions in, i also got a sweet mini traveling iron from 1983, a portable ironing board, a heavyish frosted glass bowl lamp, a rust/orange shag portable folding chair (?) its super comfy and laid back, an office chair that the gentleman used to make (he used to work for a local factory that made all kinds of expensive chairs he was saying, while demonstrating all the features of the chair i bought) and an old regular plastic electric fan for the summer (the up and down doesnt work) all for $47. i thought it was a good deal but i really shouldnt do stuff like this. im on a per needed basis, this is why my online shopping cart for my summer concoction projects are in limbo. but whatever this is stuff thats needed. when i left manila i was given some money and ive only managed to save a fourth of it which isnt much. it was pretty difficult landing. wow i had a hard time. but since arriving and scrambling for a place, all those air bnbs, crashing at patrices while coincidentally working as temp air bnb cleaner, then found this place and moved room in two weeks then found an expo job exact same time when mich was staying staying, oh god my room was so tragic then. the lay out was murderous. so its been a week of just chillin in my space, in my head, letting this new life have a chance to settle in. but have to get on doing more money making stuff. like editing the cameos post to link to their respective etsy listings and paying my less than 2$ bill, posting on dawanda, yikes the list goes on. ill stick to this little space and load up the for sale posts area. because its more work taking the quality of pictures the online listings require to stand out. my blogs like my yard sale out back. carboot sale, thoughts and ideas from one mad mind to another (cos honestly why are you still reading this), its a soapbox.
remember when google bought blogger and i was outraged and didnt blog for a while cos the login process freaked me out. thats over now and pouring my thoughts out to ether, for you to churn, just seems like an ideal concept of worldly connectivity and experience sharing. i was telling someone theres no cohesion in the streets, but what do i know im always cooping myself up indoors these days anyway. remembering those wilder days and nights, whole summers spent out all night... meeting people all the time, getting into so many scenarios, what joy.
ok theres some construction going on right outside my window and reminiscing and procrastinating will have to wait.